I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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