we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
