I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
