FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
