it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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