He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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