Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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