y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I smell like Dick and happiness
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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