Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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