looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
