I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
