I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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