I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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