i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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