i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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