yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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