It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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