But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
everyone is single if you try hard enough
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
