does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
