I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
