This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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