Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
she woke up with a sticky ear
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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