There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
