Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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