I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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