I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
it wasn't lemon gatorade
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
