I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
