my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
