he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
