is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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