Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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