i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
