meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is an emotional support booty call
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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