Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
