You can't motorboat a personality
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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