My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
