Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
