For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
