sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
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