i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
