Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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