Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
