with your own penis?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
