You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize