i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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