All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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