AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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