So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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