and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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