with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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