all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
