Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
