There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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