I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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