They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
