yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
