I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
