My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
