shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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