Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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