If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
