hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Randomize
