I love black thongs
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
