Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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