I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
