everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
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At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
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I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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