I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize