You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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