Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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